Beyond Bad Moments: Reframing Your Narrative

Moments With D Episode 6

One of my lecturers once told us “I went through so much and did a lot to get my Ph.D.; you will also go through the same”. He went on to narrate his experience with some of his lecturers before he earned his doctorate degree.


Well, he kept his word and showed us ‘shege’.

I remember walking to the examination hall, and upon seeing the questions, one question that came to mind was ‘why?’ You can imagine the surprise when you thought you had prepared for an exam and then poof, the questions do not tally with what you have been taught in class—I eventually got a C in that course.

And yet another who went through almost the same experience during the same program but determined that he will not allow any of his students to go through the same.

Same story!  Same experiences!  Different outcomes

Where does that leave us?

As much as your experiences can reshape you and your reality, you can also determine to rewrite your story and make the most of it.

The truth is, as you grow, you will meet people and go through different experiences, but how you let them shape you matters a lot. Because life is unpredictable, people go through different motions, and if care is not taken, these motions will reshape you.

I remember one of my friends used to say to me in school, “I pray that the world and the experiences you will go through as you grow in life do not tarnish your innocent heart”.

I have thought about that word so much in recent times, and I have come to understand why he said that. I have had not-so-good experiences with some of my friends, and I had gotten to the point where I had told myself that I would never be vulnerable to anyone again.

I also came to understand that I cannot go too far without a level of vulnerability, except I want to journey through life alone; I know the importance of quality relationships, and I was not going to allow my past to jeopardize that. My negative experiences almost affected me negatively, and other experiences that could have hampered my being, sense of judgment, and relationships with others

Here’s the deal: rather than allowing your experiences to shape you wrongly, you can decide to rather use them for good. You will even be shocked to discover that there will be someone somewhere who has had that same experience you had but has chosen to be positive about it and to better people’s lives.

The circle of wickedness can stop with you; it does not have to extend to others.

Your past experiences might not have been so good, but you can choose to take a stand against them. Your experiences are valid, but they do not have to turn you into someone you are not.

Allow your experiences to shape you into a better person, pave the way for others, make life easy for them—again, I say, the circle of wickedness does not have to continue through you.

Keep living! Keep growing!

Image credit- freepik

Written By Damilola Oluwadahun

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