Have you ever heard the phrase “if it is yours, it will definitely come to you?” Or, more importantly, if it was meant for you, it would not pass you by?”

This was the incident that led to my holding on to it and believing it.

I wanted to pick up a cab to go home from school one day, and a friend and I got talking at the roadside. We stopped a cab, and then the driver parked just ahead of us. While trying to catch up, someone who was closer to the cab just stepped in while it took off, leaving us behind even though we were the ones who stopped it.

You know how painful that can be? especially when you have waited for so long.

You guessed right! I was angry and disappointed, and this was the phrase my friend used to comfort me. He said, “Damilola, that cab was never meant for you; when yours comes, it will not pass you by.”

Well, this phrase has become a source of comfort and optimism for some, as it was for me at different times in my life when I expected things to happen but they did not. This is because we have faith that our desires and wishes will eventually be fulfilled. However, this statement is not without its flaws. While our intentions and goals may well find their way to us in due time, assuming that we are passively waiting for them can lead to an undesired outcome or the frustration of unfulfilled dreams.

Holding on to this belief for a very long time affected me because it made me lackadaisical and less pushy in a way. I began to expect certain outcomes without making any effort toward them. It made me grow complacent and stop taking action to make anything happen, instead believing that what’s meant for me will simply arrive at some point.

Believing that something is “meant for you” and will not pass you by is a slippery slope. It implies a certain amount of entitlement as well as an over-reliance on “luck” and “destiny” to bring good things into your life instead of taking proactive steps toward success. This mindset can lead to complacency and a lack of ambition; why strive for something more if you are already sure it’s coming? In addition, it can lead to feelings of bitterness and resentment when our expectations don’t play out the way we expected. When things don’t work out despite our believing that we are entitled to them, we may start blaming outside factors or other people instead of looking inward at how we can improve our situation.

This kind of thinking can also harm our mental health; when our expectations are not met, we may feel helpless and overwhelmed with sadness or worry about how things will ever get better.

Many of us have lived our lives in a relaxed manner. We wait for the conditions to be perfect before taking the risk, and sometimes we wait too long, wasting some very precious moments in our lives. There is a level of intentionality needed when it comes to pursuing our goals; we cannot afford to sit back and allow our lives to play out in front of us.

Let it be said that you indeed tried your best; it just never worked out. Let it be that you put in the work; it just never went as planned. You can’t sit back and do nothing and expect life to just happen to you.

I won’t live in denial and say that life will always go the way you want it to or that whatever you want will always come for you because I know that as humans, we often like to have control over our lives, and so when something does not come as easily as we hoped for, it can be disheartening. However, it is important to remember that not every opportunity or goal in life can be achieved without effort. Even though there may be an element of luck involved in achieving our goals, hard work and dedication are essential components too.

For this reason, the saying “if it was meant for you, it won’t pass you by” should also be taken with a pinch of salt.

Opportunities can be missed if one doesn’t act on them at the right time—whether through lack of knowledge or preparation—even if they are potentially life-changing.

An alternative approach is to take ownership of our desired outcomes and actively seek out the paths leading toward them. We must take responsibility for our future by stepping out and putting forth effort in our endeavors, regardless of the obstacles we may encounter. There will always be situations beyond our control, but let it not be that you never tried.

 #opportunities #chance #hardwork #opportunity #luck

Damilola Oluwadahun

Image Credit-Freepik