Reclaiming Control: Decisions, Mistakes, and Moving On

Moments With D Episode 5

In the last episode, I spoke about the importance of being intentional about our growth and not leaving our life solely to chance.

This is largely dependent on the choices and decisions we make or not. The quality of our life today is the result of the choices and decisions we have made up until now. This is one of the attributes that makes us “human”: the free will to make our choices and decisions.

And so it brings to mind the fact that we have to be very intentional about our choices and decisions because, even though we have the will to decide, our decisions will always affect our lives and the lives of those around us.

Many of us have had to make decisions at one point or another in our lives, and I can say that we have not always made the right decisions. However, we can always learn from our mistakes and move on.

Making decisions requires that we think things through—what will be the consequences of our action? How will this decision affect me now and in the future? How will it affect those around me?

This story about Tiwatope (not her real name) is just one of the many in my head right now.

She was a young, promising first-class lady while we were in school who became a victim of wrong teachings. Not sure where she got that from, she suddenly began to believe that education was a scam, and at this time, she was in her final year. She bought into this mindset and got into a relationship with this guy (someone who was still struggling with gaining admission at that time), got pregnant, and left school all because she suddenly bought into the idea that education was not important. Despite all pleas to ensure she finishes school, it fell on deaf ears. I did not hear from her again for a long time until about two years ago, when she came back to herself and had to start school all over again. This happened years after her friends had graduated.

That single decision cost her years of having to take care of a baby alone while also denying her the right to complete her education.

Who had to live with the consequences of those decisions?

Just her!

Whatever the outcome of your choices and decisions are, you will be the one to live by those decisions and take responsibility for them.

Imagine if she had made a different decision and stuck with it no matter what. I am sure we would be telling a different story by now.

However, if you have fallen victim to making the wrong decision (I guess we must all have done that at a point), the first step is taking responsibility for it and then looking for ways to right your wrong.

Tiwatope’s story did not end there.

I later heard that she had to start all over again after her friends had already graduated and moved on to another phase of their lives.

She had to enroll in another school again, and she started all over.

Yes, she had made a mistake, but she did not allow guilt and pride to keep her there. She buried the shame and enrolled in school again.

Remember, no one is perfect. Don’t beat yourself up when it looks like you missed it.

The first and most important step is to accept your mistakes and find the lessons to learn from them. Figure out what is next and let it go!

I know it’s not as simple as it sounds, but trust me, your mistakes do not have to stop you from growing. Once you have come to this realization, pick yourself up and start all over.

The decision to even move on after a fall is what makes us stronger.

Keep living! Keep growing!

Image credit- freepik

Written By Damilola Oluwadahun

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